FUNNY SIMPSON LISTS
Homer's Revenge List
- Bill of Rights
- Grandpa
- Fat Free Lard
- Gravity
- Emmys
- Darwin
- H2Whoa
- Billy Crystal
- God
- SoloFlex
- The Boy
- Econo Sav
- Stern Lecture Plumbing
Homer's Favorite Free
Acquisitions
- Trampolines
- Surplus Drums Of
Mayonnaise From Operation
- Old Crutches
- Used Matresses
- 8 Track Watergate Tapes
Homer's Sayings to Live By
- Cover For Me
- Oh, Good Idea Boss!
- It Was Like That When I Got Here
- Being Popular Is The Most Important
Thing
- Blame The Guy Who Doesn't Speak
English
Lance Murdock's Most Death-Defying Stunts
- Jumping A Motorcycle Over A Pool Of Crocodiles, Sharks,
And One Ferocious Lion
- Jumping Springfield Gorge In A Gremlin
- Hand To Hand Combat With Truckasaurus
- Skydiving Naked Into The Springfield Broken Glass Yard
Rainer Wolfcastle's Greatest
Films
- "You Have The Right To Remain
Dead"
- "Bloodletter IV"
- "View To A Corpse"
- "License To Detonate"
- "On The Fatherland's Secret
Police"
Bart's Junior Camper Patches
- Archery
- Debt Collection
- Embalming
- TV Trivia
- Patch Forgery
Smithers' Favorite Malibu Stacy
Dolls
- Achy Breaky Stacy
- Live For The Improv Stacy
- Stacy Von Malibu (Famous Shrink)
- Lacy Stacy (Parental Discretion
Advised)
- Sister Malibu Stacy Vatican Set
- The Many Talents Of Chief
Wiggum
-
- Can Fit His Entire Fist Into His
Mouth
- Can Pass All The Deptment's drunk
Test While Legally Drunk
- Has The Ability To Accurately Guess
His Own Weight
- Can Read People's Rights And Eat At
The same Time
- His Investigative Ability Enables
Him To Guess The Filling In A Donut Without Poking A Hole
In It
- Troy McClure's Most
Challenging Roles Of All Time
-
- Todd, World's Unluckiest Dentist In
A "Bridge To Far"
- Bobby, The Happy-Go-Lucky Friend Of
Ook Ook The Lip Cancer Chimp In "Swing, Swang,
Swung"
- The Doomed Professor Landrew In
"Three Men And A Bunsen Burner"
- Red, The Happy Little Fire Engine
In The Hit Musical "Trucks"
- Barney's Favorite Beverages
-
- Duff Regular
- Duff Dry
- New McDuff Ale
- Raspberry Duff
- Duff's Alcohol-Free Beer (With A
Jigger Of Vodka)
- Grandpa Simpson's Sure-Fire
Cures For Consumption
-
- Leeches
- Castor Oil And Leeches
- A Dash Of Cayenne In Your Underwear
And Leeches
- Ragweed And Leeches
- The Five Greatest Sermons
Of Reverend Timothy Lovejoy
-
- "There Is No Cross In Cross
Dressing"
- "Speaking In Tongues For The
Beginner"
- "How To See The Saints In
Puddles"
- "Baptizing Your Pets"
- "Heaven Or Hell? You
Decide"
- Marge's Words To Live By
-
- The Extra Ingredient Is Niceness
- The Pencil Of Crime Has No Eraser
- Don't Put All Of Your Eggs In One
Casserole
- If Bannanas Were Outlawed, Only
Outlaws Would Have Bannanas
- The Simpsons Can't Be Choosers
- Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella
- It's Either Six Of One Or A Half A
Dozen Of The Other
- If You Follow The Highway Of Crime,
You'll Have To Pay The Toll
- A Woman's Work Is Never Fun
- People Who Live In Glass Houses
Should Always Wear Clothes
- Secret Ambitions Of
Principal Skinner
-
- To Own A Peanut Butter Automobile
- To Restore The Eraser To It's
Rightful Position Of Prominence In The Field Of Education
- To End The Wall Scrawling Of The
Wily El Barto
- To Wear Underwear Not Monogrammed
By Mother
- To Quiet The Infernal Tooting Of
Groundskeeper Willie's Bagpipes
- Sideshow Bob's To Do List
-
- Threaten Bart Simpson
- Hire New Attorney
- Do Laundry
- Kill Bart Simpson
- Write Memoirs
- Buy A Pen
- Ned's Recommended Reading
For The Little Ones
-
- "Saints Do The Strangest
Things"
- "The Sinner Who Came To
Dinner"
- "The Darwinist Who Stole
Christmas"
- "The Scratch And Sniff
Bible"
- Chief Wiggum's Uses For A
Gun
-
- Cracking Nuts
- Opening Beer Cans
- Turning On And Off The Television
- Blasting Holes In Jelly Donuts
- Troy Mclure's "I Can't
Believe They Invented It!"
-
- Styroglow: Makes Styrofoam Look
Brand New!
- New Improved Brick: Waterproof
Sponge
- Brew And Chew: The World's First
Beer Tasting Gum!
- Obscenity For Men: Fragrance That
Isn't Afraid To Speak It's Mind
- The Combinolater: 87
- Hard To Use Tools In One! (Instructions Sold Separately)
- Homer's Top Ten Favorite
Pastimes
-
- Rummaging through the Flander's
trash
- Stealing golf balls from the
driving range
- Buying stuff on TV
- Spending quality time in front of
the TV
- Spending quality time on his
favorite bar stool at Moe's
- Strangling the boy
- Juggling two beers at once while
guzzling down the third
- Letting Santa's Little Helper lick
grease stains off my chest
- Eating flowers (D'oh! You didn't
hear that!)
- Snuggling with my wife
- Top Twenty Grossest Things
Homer Has Ever Eaten
-
- Rancid meat that was a couple years
old
- Two buckets of bad shrimp
- Week old 10 foot hoahie
- Dirty hot dog from the floor
- Packet of gravy mix found in a
parking lot
- 3 year old (ornamental) hot dogs
- Hot dog that was floating in a
kiddy pool
- Plate of food with a bug on it
- Large container of petroleum jelly
- Sugar with broken glass in it
- 10 pound bag of flour
- Soil under stadium bleachers
- Fancy soap for the bathroom
- Dish soap sample
- A waffle that was stuck to the
ceiling
- Flowers
- Patented "out of this world
space age Moon" waffles
- 64 slices of American cheese
- Marge's lipstick
- A box of donuts while in the SNPP
bathroom
- Homer's Mmmm Mist
-
- Mmmm... marshmallows
- Mmmm...chocolate
- Mmmm...Ooh...Macamadamia nuts
- Mmmm... horse doovers
- Mmmm...spaghetti
- Mmmm...purple
- Mmmm...salty
- Mmmm...the land of chocolate
- Mmmm...crumbled-up cookie things
- Mmmm...potato chips
- Mmmm...strained peas
- Mmmm...snouts
- Mmmm...fattening
- Mmmm...burger
- Mmmm...soylent green
- Mmmm...grapefruit
- Mmmm...organized crime
- Mmmm...beer
- Mmmm...sixty four slices of
American cheese
- Mmmm...invisible cola
- Mmmm...candy
- Mmmm...convenient
- Mmmm...foebidden donut
- Mmmm...business deal
- Mmmm...free goo
- Mmmm...apple
- Mmmm...hamburgers
- Mmmm...foot-long chili dog
- Mmmm...Marge
- Mmmm...mediciney
- Mmmm...sacrilicious
- Mmmm...elephant fresh
- Mmmm...caramel
- Mmmm...bowling fresh
- Mmmm...urinal fresh
- Mmmm...slanty
- Mmmm...incapacitating
- Mmmm...beer nuts
- Mmmm...something
- Mmmm...sandwich
- The Krusty Brand Seal Of Approval
- "I heartily endorse this event or product"
- Chocolate Frosted Frosty Krusty Flakes (only sugar has
more sugar)
- The Krusty Doll
- The Krusty Doll (with hidden knife)
- Krusty Klown Kollege (formerly Willie Nelson's house)
- Krusty Brand Mayonnaise
- Krusty Brand Sulfuric Acid
- The Krusty Clock (gets hot when plugged in)
- Krusty Brand Cereal (with FREE jagged metal Krusty-O)
- Krusty Brand Cereal (FREE flesh eating bacteria inside
every box)
- Krusty on a Unicycle Snowy Dome
- Krusty Lunchbox
- Krusty Brand Home Pregnancy Test (may cause birth
defects)
- Krusty Bars
- Krusty Brand Vitamins
- The Krusty Wastebaket
- The Krusty Toy Cannon
- The Krusty Brand Calculator (no # 7 or 8)
- The Krusty Crowd Control Barrier
- Krusty Brain and Health Tonic
- The Krusty Monopoly Game (patent denied)
- Krusty Burger
- Krusty Brand Pork Products
- Krusty's Non-Narcotic Kough Syrup
- Krusty Walki-Talkies
- Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel (7 out of 10 orphans can't
tell the difference)
- Krusty (non toxic) Kologne (smell of the big top)
- The Krusty Alarm Clock (gets hot)
- Krusty's Individually Wrapped Cheese Slices
- Krusty Brand Thigh Cream
- Chef Krusty's Chocolate covered Kidney Treats
- Uncle Krusty's Tile, Tub and Tonsil Cleaner
- McKrusty's Haggis Helper
- Krusty's Multi-Phasic Personality Test
- The Doctor Krusty Balloon-Animal Home Angioplasty Kit
- Krusty's Vita Glow Radiant Spring Water (bottled in
cooperation with Springfield Nuclear Power Plant)
- Krusty and the Crumbs Bandnumber
- Krusty Brand Atomic Particle Accelerator
- Chef Krusty's Brunch-in-a-can (all-u-can-drink Powdered
Champange included)
- The Lady Krusty Electric Razor
- The Lady Krusty Mustache Removal System (is my lip
supposed to bleed like this?)
- Krusty Brand Lo-Cal TV Dinner away
- Camp Krusty (the Krustiest place on earth)
- Krusty-oleo
- Krusty Brand Lawn Darts
- Krusty Brand Duck Sausage Pizza